If I Fall by Amber Thielman
Author:Amber Thielman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Amber Thielman, INC.
I didn’t sleep well that night, tucked into Jay’s expensive sofa. My mind reeled as the darkness of the condo smothered me. In the bedroom, I could hear him snoring even with the door closed. I stared at the ceiling, into the darkness, my hand resting over my forehead as I listened to a mixture of snoring and the hum of the refrigerator. I needed a drink. Or a hit. Or both. Preferably both. Compared to my tiny apartment on a busy street, Jay’s condo was quiet and peaceful, but I didn’t like the quiet, and I didn’t like the peace. It rattled me.
“You couldn’t be quiet if your life depended on it,” Carter once said to me. “Relax, Ladybug, and just try to be…”
“Be what?” I’d asked, and he’d laughed.
“No. Just be. You know, in the moment.”
But even then, I hadn’t slowed down. My mind had kept on reeling, kept on racing. Sleep had never been normal for me, really, and especially not now. Recently, the only time sleep was gracious enough to come was when I was blackout drunk, and even then, only a few hours of shut-eye was all I could manage. And now, since Carter had been gone, the spinning in my head, the late nights, and the bad decisions—all of it was even worse.
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